There are so many things I want to tell you. Because I really, really want you to like me.

In my fantasies, there are relatively few fancy cars, spa weeks or mansions. What I want is for at least one person to read something I wrote and cry (dramatically) “eureka!” Or words to that effect.

So I’ll tell you some things that might help you decide to trust me, take this journey with me, and maybe, just maybe, decide that you like me.

Things About Me

I am old. Not old like with a housecoat and a blue-gray perm, but I am gray. I am too old to publish photos of my cute legs in knee socks near a pile of YA books and an artistically arranged mug of cocoa.

I am old enough to be that girl’s mother.

I do, though, like to think I’m pretty hip for a person of my advanced years. I do not listen only to The Eagles and Steely Dan (disclosure: I have hated both since I was in high school), and I know about CBD, AF, and IKR and use all three on the regular.

I have been a lot of things in my life. These include, but are not limited to: professional cellist, attorney, bible salesperson, retail manager, cook, funeral coordinator, stay at home mom, call center employee, temp, Montessori Aide (lasted 2 weeks) and kitchen store manager (lasted one day.)

I am always a writer. I have been a writer since I wrote the epic novel “Lacey Comstock: Pioneer Girl” on notebook paper in third grade. I have written for Salon.com and for Elephant Journal as well as the Edgewood Cooperative Nursery School newsletter (now sadly out of print.) I’ve written some fiction, but only of the short variety. Oh, and some truly maudlin, overwrought poetry of the “I stand here/you are there as across a river/I made from my tears” type. You get it.

These days I work as Managing Editor of a hyperlocal online newspaper, and sometimes I write, but usually I’m editing other reporters’ stuff.

I came from a happy family, and I know that’s right up there with hens’ teeth. My mother died in 2012 and my father in 2014 (after I was lucky enough to provide him with home hospice care), and I miss them every damned day. Sometimes it hits me like a well-aimed punch to the gut, other times it’s softer, and nostalgic. I still have my brother and his family, all of whom I adore flagrantly and immoderately.

I have been married to the same man for 22 years, and I have a son who is 22 (if you raised your eyebrows a little at that, you’re on the right track.) I love them both in ways that are simultaneously life-giving and terrifying (you know, mortality and stuff.) I also live with a big, white dog named Guinevere, a black cat named Luna and a striped cat named Henry. I really can’t sort out whether I love them as much as I love my humans, but I think I do. And I’m okay with that.

I have friends, and they are astonishing to me.

Things I’ll Probably Write About

I miss this kind of writing and that’s why I’m coming back to do it some more. I decided to use this space to talk about all the things I’m passionate about, the things that can drag me out of the worst place and give me hope and anticipation. I’m warning you, though; it’s a pretty mixed bag:

1. Books. I’m a velocireader, and I have strong opinions. I may talk about a really old book or series I love, something I just read, or something I don’t like that everyone else seems to like. (“Eat, Pray, Love” anybody?)
2. Spirituality. I’m a Buddhist. But I’m a Buddhist raised by a lapsed Catholic/atheist father and a Jewish mother, and I used to work at a protestant church. Where I was baptized at one point, but it didn’t seem to take. More about this later.
3. Skincare and Makeup. I’m kind of obsessive about this stuff, and it’s a form of play for me. I’ve tried the 10-step Korean routine, I have a favorite sheet mask, I have tips for getting your lashes to stay curled, how to find the right foundation, and opinions about glitter, contouring, strobe highlights and Eugene Levy brows on 18-year-old women.
4. Food and cooking. I love to cook, and at this point I use recipes as guides and shoot more for the intuitive. I like to cook BIG flavors, like curries, sambals, homemade red sauce, and, famously, a pasta recipe with so many hot peppers that no one could actually eat it without weeping. I’m interested in cooking healthy food, cooking ridiculously unhealthy food, and baking. I also try to stay on top of food trends and decide whether they’re worth trying. (I see you avocado toast, smoothie bowls and matcha.)
5. Cool stuff. Podcasts, TV shows, movies, websites, products, music, tips, hacks, etc..

A Thing for Today

It’s time for me to go make my lunch and hang out with my husband and creatures as one does on the best kind of Sunday.

I talked to my BFF this morning (she lives in another state and we have never met, but that’s also for another day) and at the end of the conversation I said “don’t let Monday eat your Sunday.” She and I both thought that was pretty clever. You see why I love her.

Anyway, what I meant was that it’s really easy to let anxiety about whatever you face on Monday (in my case work) ruin your one, golden, silken, Sunday so it is totally consumed by dreading what comes next and a painful awareness that every breath moves you closer to The End of the Weekend.

Please, for the love of all that’s holy, try to stop doing that. I fight it with a combination of meditation (see Buddhist, above), tons of contact with creatures who love me, and immersion in things so engaging that I get immersed and stop fretting. Like writing this blog, reading a good book, or painting my toenails purple while watching old episodes of “Doc Martin.”

Cheers,

Annie